It has been almost two weeks. I dare say that it has been blissful, but it has. The chaos that has stolen my joy for so long is now quiet. I am not naive ~ I know that the chaos will return, for God didn't promise that anything would be easy or free of pain. Yet, I will enjoy the quiet while it last. I know that the storm will rise all too soon, but until then I will treasure the peace and feel the joy that the Lord is blessing me with at the moment.
The peace that I feel seems to be contagious. Everyone around me seems to be a little calmer and a little more light hearted. Yet, maybe it is just my perception, it is hard to tell. Yet, I know that it is God that has picked me up and raised me from the ashes of this chaotic and restless world. As so many times before, it makes me wonder how anyone can not believe in God. I have tried for a dozen years to fix my families problems and each time I failed, but when I trust God all of the pieces fall together. It is like one of those jigsaw puzzles that I used to help my grandmother with. All the pieces seemed to look a like and I struggled to find two pieces that would fit snugly together. I would get so frustrated and impatient. I have done the same in my own jigsaw puzzle life. The frustration that I couldn't make all the pieces fall into place would steal all my joy and rob me of the peace that was there all along. It (Peace) was revealed when I placed my faith in JESUS and gave all my problems over to Him.
I don't mean to make this sound easy, for it is not. I still ( and probably always will) struggle to not control things myself. I continuously have to stop myself and consider that I am being controlling. Self - Denial is the hardest thing to overcome, but everytime I am able to successfully deny myself, I feel as if I walked through the clouds and discovered my silver lining.